Days 11, 12 & 13 of Raw..um..Hell

 So day 11 passed in a blur...I can't remember it to be honest.

Day 12 I drank 48 ounces of green smoothie...stretched out over the day.  Had a few bites of this and that, but was crazy busy at work all day plus holding my little shoulder monkey Aashi.  Just does not leave a lot of time to think of food.

About 3pm I started feeling really groggy, like my head was in a fog, and super tired.  About a hour later, I took everyone home and once there I started having chills, and body aches.

I guessed that I was starting to detox.  I managed to get dinner on the table for the kids, set them down in front of it and told Eddie that I had to lay down with the baby.

Before long I was curled up on the bed rocking back and forth, with full blown flu like hard core chills, body aches, headache...and then BAM.  My tummy started burning, like when I am having a gallbladder flare up.

I managed to hang like that for over an hour before I at lasted called mom for backup.

By this point Tamra was crying because she was worried about me, and Eddie has made me my Peppermint Water, and brought me a bowl in case I needed to puke.

Mom arrived about an hour later, and helped everyone brush teeth and get into bed. 

All night long I was shivering and shaky, dizzy if I tried to get up.  Aashi needed Grandma to rock him but then settled down for a good night of cuddling mommy and nursing nursing nursing!!

This morning I am still achy and have a headache, but the other symptoms have decreased.

So today, day 13, I have researched detoxing while on raw food and have come to find out that what I am going through is very normal.  Yay me. 

Just holding on the fact that this is a good thing for me to be doing.  That my body will feel clean and "run" so much better once I make it through the ick.

Having my first food of the day-green smoothie, at 11am.

Wish me luck.

Day 10 Of Raw

 Oh day ten, what to say about you?

Lots of smoothies, handfuls of cashews, some kombucha...a raw spirulina bar.  Not lots to report.

A crazy busy day at work, children...cleaning the house.

I think I am just tired, right now, maybe when everyone is asleep I will have more to say.

Oh how I need the fussy whining to stop!

I know I bought a bottle of wine, I should go find it.

And then, I became crazy

 I HATE how some days I am living is this little world in my head.  And in my little world I am freaking out.  Every little thing the kids do is a personal assault on me.  Every dirty area of the house offends me and threatens my day.

When I am in my little world, I forget how to talk nicely, I can't remember to take my mood herbs, I lose sight of how I can tap to work through my emotions.

Instead I am just spiraling out of control.  A tiny part of me is screaming "STOP STOP STOP!!".  The rest of me is just a giant asshole and takes over.

Once things calm down (people are not fighting, dinner is over, baths are done...etc) I slowly regain some sense of balance. 

Sort of.

I also feel like shit, and beat myself up over what a crazy parent I can be.

I don't know what I need.  Well, I know I need to discover, UN-cover what MY needs are so I am not taking out my un-met needs on my family.

And maybe a nanny.

Fuck, this parent shit is hard

Day 9 of Raw Bliss, in which I eat 75% raw..meh...

Today brought me much smoothie bliss.  I love them.  LOVE them.

I had 2 today.  Morning-apple, pear, banana and spinach.

Lunch-cucumber, onion, tomato, kale, green pepper.

I can't BELIEVE how much energy I get with the greens being blended!

Tomorrow is day 10!  I am very excited.

Goodbye to day 8 of my raw bliss

 Ah day 8.  You are over.  I will drink wine in thanks for another day done.

This morning was another green smoothie (apple, pear, lettuce, banana, avocado).  Which is really quite wonderful in how it carries me really far into the day without being SO hungry.  Or maybe I am just to busy to notice being hungry.  Whatever the cause, it is working for me.  That and my cup or two of organic joe.  ;)

Lunch was a sad little raw food bar and water.

Dinner was actually another smoothie...one of my favorites so far!  Spinach, apple, pear, banana-OMG!  So yummy!  And also super filling.

I have a ton of breastmilk.  Aashi is not sure what to do with it all.  Poor guy.  I am wondering if all the greens is helping produce more milkies....

Day 7 Of Sorta Raw Bliss

Damn, I love coffee, I really do.  Ok, now that that is out of the way...

So today brought bright green smoothies this morning for me and the kids.  I blended a cup of water, a large amount of kale, a pear, a apple, a banana, bee pollen and apple cider vinegar.

Very tasty.  And very filling.

Lunch was at work, and it was crazy busy while we were there, so it consisted of slices of raw cheese and lots of fresh oranges.

Dinner for Tamra was a whole wheat bagel with pasture butter and fruit jam, scrambled eggs and grapes.  For Ed and I, it was our "date night" so we also ate a cooked meal today.  Eh.  Sometimes it just not go as planned.  :/ 

It was so worth it though to let Eddie choose a place to eat, and then have some quiet alone time just the 2 of us.

I still have a lot of energy, of which I am so thankful for.

Now I need to add working out a few times a week.

Frick, how am I gonna fit that in?

Bring on the new challenge!  ;)

Now to drink some wine...

Day 6 of Raw (almost) Bliss

So I am a firm believer in eating what your body is telling you it needs. 

No, that does not include Burger King or Fast Food of any kind...  ;)  

I mean lets say you are trying to just be a veggie and not consume meat.  But then you, out of no place, are craving meat.  Like jonesing for it BAD.  Or feeling weak, extra tired, whatever...

Eat the meat!!  Your body is telling you that something is outta whack!  Maybe you need more b vitamins, or lacking in iron, find that depletion or enjoy the meat! 

Hahaaha, that is a lot of saying eat meat.  So not my thing.  :)

Anyhoodle!

Today is day 6 of raw goodness for me.  I took the kids on a long snow walk, it was freezing and I had Aashi on my front in one of my looooong wraps, and I pulled Tamra Rose in the wagon, all while Eddie threw snowballs at us.  Fun.

By the time I got back I was DIZZY.  Still am a little.  See with the crazy 3 kids, breastfeeding up a storm and working at our family store quite a bit, I lose track of meals.  I space them out too far.  I don't eat enough protein.  I don't eat enough period.

Today it caught up with me.  I could not think of what to do, what to eat.  I sat down, cut a chunk of raw cheese, and chewed away.  Sat a little longer.  Had to get up to feed the kids.  Nursed Aashi. 

Still felt icky, shaky and sick. 

I then pulled out the big guns, organic turkey.  I piled a TON of fresh veggies (peppers, onions, spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers) plus some organic pickles and then layered on the organic turkey, all on sprouted grain bread.  I then crammed it in my mouth fairly quickly.  Yes, it is true, I ate like someone might take it away from me.

I felt a little bit better.  Nursed Aashi.  Gave the kids 2nds of their meal.  Rocked Aashi.  Drank some water.  Drank some more water.  Eyed the coffee pot.

Now I am sitting down with the baby, watching the other 2 (still eating, ya, they are HUNGRY)...and I STILL feel shaky.  But better.  For sure I am better.

Let that be a lesson to you, don't skip your raw meals!  Eat those nuts!  Consume avocados!  But mainly, don't space them too far out!  :)

So, yes, one meal today was not raw.

But for a single mom of 3, who is nursing a 2 month old baby...not bad.  Not bad at all.

Bring on the raw.

Day 5 of Raw Bliss (sorta, bliss..)

Hmm, today brought a whole lot of nothing on my raw plate.

Started off the day with my cup of organic coffee, made the kids breakfast, ran around doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen.  Nursed and nursed some more baby Aashi, and got him to take a little napper, so I could take one of my lovely 2 minute showers.

Mmmm..hot water.

Hours passed, realized no food had passed my lips.  Rushed off to work with all the kids, got super busy, still no food.  At last I ate part of Tamra's raw food bar that she was snacking on..

Lots of water.  More coffee.

Back home, I did make a blender soup..Avocado & Tomato with kale, red onion, garlic, red pepper, cilantro, sea salt, fresh squeezed lime juice.
Pretty damn good.

Um, there was a moment of cheating.  Yes.  Yes.  Shame, oh shame.

Tamra has begged all day for french fries.  So loving mama that I am , ;) I cut up organic potatoes, sprinkled them with sea salt and drizzled with coconut oil and baked them.

Tam kindly "forced" one into my mouth.  I then had to eat one, ok, 2 more.

Sigh.  Oh well

On we go!

Raw Bliss Day 4...right? Day 4? ...

Today I had berries with raw coconut flakes.  Crazy green smoothy.  Raw food bar.  Coffee.  More Coffee.  Water...lots of water.  Manna bread with raw coconut oil...oohh how I love manna bread.  Thank you people who found that you can make "bread" with out killing all the goodness.

And lettuce wraps with wine.  Lettuce wraps rock.  Crunchy, lots of different flavors...gotta love it.

I have lots of energy.  Very thankful for that, and I feel great.  Craving a giant burger tho...damn...

Down 4lbs...

Day 3 of Raw Bliss ( I have energy!!)

Ok, this morning was a blur, and before I knew it, it was 11am and all I had to eat was a handful of berries and a cup of coffee.  Oh, and water.  :)

So we ran out the door to work, with mama feeling a bit shaky, and got right down to making a giant green gloopy smoothie.  Today into the blender went giant amounts of fresh spinach, spirulina, bananas, a avocado, coconut oil, strawberries and water...oh and raw protein powder.

It may not be the most amazing flavor ever, but not bad.  And it does the job. 

Also snacked on some cashews, man, raw cashews are freaking awesome!  The taste is out of this world!

Tonight is Raw Stuffed Peppers!  I am super excited!  :)

Oh, and I have lost 3 pounds...  :)

 Dinner Recipe for Stuffed Peppers

• 1 large orange bell pepper
• 1 medium zucchini, chopped into small cubes
• 2 or 3 slices of red onion, chopped into small cubes
• 1 medium tomato, chopped into small cubes
• 1/4 cup of fresh cilantro, chopped
• 1/2 small clove of garlic, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon of cumin
• juice from 1/2 lime
• 1/4 avocado, mashed

Directions:

In a large bowl, mix all of the ingredients except for the pepper. Next, stuff the pepper, grab a fork and enjoy!

This recipe is a perfect addition to a low fat, raw vegan diet. If you’d like to know more about raw foods and how to lose weight, detox, boost energy and dramatically improve your health with quick and tasty meals like this one, then check out our Thriving On Raw Foods program.

Thriving On Raw Foods is a 21-day transition plan to step you up to a 100% or mostly raw food diet. It includes three weeks worth of meal plans, recipes and grocery shopping lists to make it easy. You’ll get a ton of information, recipes and expert advice on how to make fresh fruits and vegetables a foundation to your diet.

Dinner is? Still day 2 of Raw Bliss

Dinner is:

A couple handfuls of raw cashews, a few baby carrots,  one avocado-sprinkled with sea salt and spritzed with fresh lime juice & a raw food bar.

I am deciding if I will add in some raw cheese as a snack later.

Now off to my Non Violent Communication Class & then WINE.

Yes, wine, gets all caps.

It has been a tough day.

;)

Day 2 of My Raw Bliss

This morning has brought me a large veggie juice and a handful of cashews.  Um, and coffee, of course.

Soon will be enjoying my super duper green power packed smoothie for lunch.

Dinner?  I have no idea.  None.  I am sure it will come to me as I work, something in the produce area will call to me.  :)

(I can do it, do it do it!!!)

Raw Dinner-Day 1. I'm calling it Cuke Boats ;)

Dinner was good.  A good mix of crunchy and smooth, tart and salty...mmm.

Also when researching my raw food meal plan I came across this lovely quote:

"Alcohol: If one drinks, s/he should preferentially choose wine over all other alcohols. Most wines have not been heat-processed. Seek out organic/no-sulfite varieties."

Rock on.

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Day 1 of my Raw Food Bliss (or so I am hoping!)

 Ok, I am starting my 21 days of Raw Food Goodness.

The only things that will not be raw are my organic cup of coffee and glass of organic wine everyday.  There is only so much I can ask of myself.  ;)

This morning brought a glass of mixed veggie juice and coffee.

This afternoon was a power packed smoothie with tons of greens, avocado, bananas...in a base of water...not bad, but not great.

Tonight will be a cucumber sandwich.  Recipe below. 

Later tonight will be wine.  Oh yes.

Cucumber Sandwich

Serves 2

Ingredients

1 cucumber
1 avocado (small cubes)
1 tomato small cubes)
Squeeze of lime
salt & (cayenne)pepper
few cilantro leafs

Directions

1.     Peel the cucumber (optional)

2.     Cut cucumber lengthwise and horizontally. You now have 4 long "boats".

3.     With a spoon, scoop out the inner (soft) part of the cucumber.

4.     Put all other ingredients in a bowl. Mix gently.

5.     Fill the inner part of the cucumber with the avocado mixture.

6.     Eat as "boats" or put the other (empty) half of the cucumber on top of the filled one. (You have now a "whole" cucumber. Wrap with plastic wrap. Perfect for when on the go.

Tip

1.     Try this recipe with tapenade, pesto, nut pate, nut cheese, mellon or other filling!

2.     Great in your lunch box or on the go.

A bit of my 3rd birth story, the love of a sister.

I was standing in the shower this morning.  My only real alone time.  Be it one minute or five, it feels good to just stand there under the hot water and let my mind wander.

Today I flashed to the end of my labor with Aashi, which was in the bathroom.

I started thinking about being in the shower, then the bath, then out of the bath...but not quite ready to leave the bathroom as contraction after contraction hit me hard and quick.

I started to have tears, as I remembered how I clung to my sister, as we rocked back and forth together.  She whispered I love you over and over in my ear and cried while I moaned and screamed down Aashi. 

"Hold on to me, I have you" she said.

And I did.  I held on to her for dear life, she was my lifeline, the reason I could keep going, tired and hurting, and wanting this to be at last.

I worried about hurting her as I labored but she kept telling me she was fine.  So we danced together, the wonderful dance of birth.  Even while we cried together, she made me feel like I could go on and do this.  She made me feel strong, with her strength, holding me up, in the same bathroom that she birthed two of her children in.

We did at last make it back to the bedroom, and I did rock, moan and push my Aashi out, on hands and knees on the bed.

But what I remember so clearly is my sister, helping me dance my baby out.

I love you little sister.

My strong women

Women are wonderful.

I kind of want to write that a few more times.

Women are wonderful.  Women are WONDERFUL.  WOMEN are WONDERFUL.

There are times in my life, that really bring me to appreciate things.  Right now, I am thankful for all the strong and amazing ladies that have been brought to me.

Their presence helps me to have less self pity, less indulgence in feeling bad about my life choices.

It is healing to be able to laugh, to vent, to rage, to cry, to laugh some more....

To tell tales of family injustices.  To hug one another.  To be able to laugh hysterically at moments of silliness.

Thank you my strong mama friends!  Thank you for listening, for feeling for me.  Thank you for being there in the middle of the night.  Thank you for being there all day.  Thank you for not judging.  Thank you for blessing me with your friendship.